COLOSSAL GIRL

I have a pinched nerve in the lower right region of my back, and keep having to remind myself to relax my right shoulder.  I will be sitting at my computer or just walking around and find myself holding my right shoulder up.  ?   I don't know where this is coming from, I must be out of alignment.  In the meantime I am walking around Los Angeles looking like Quasi Moto in stiletto heals.  Ohhhh, maybe it's the stiletto heals...  Maybe I should succumb to the favorite shoe trend of LA's fashionista's and wear Ugg boots with every ensemble.  That way I could spare myself the back pain and occasional blister, while keeping my toesies toasty and extend the life of my pedicure.  All I would need is a pair of brown tights and it would complete my new for fall look.

Nah.  I have put up with the discomfort of wearing shoes I love since junior high school, and it will be a sad day indeed when I am forced by necessity into wearing practical shoes (shudder).  The fact that I am already 5'10" before adding 3" to 4" heels does little to dissuade me from doing it.  I have become quite comfortable with being the tallest gal and sometimes tallest person in the room.  I don't care if I look like a giant because I LOVE HEELS!  Nothing makes me feel more girlie glamorous.  I get a perverse thrill out of feeling like the Attack of the 50' woman.  I have a theme song to further that fantasy, its Colossal by Wolfmother.  It's track #3 on the Blog Post Playlist there on your right if you would like to play along with me.

I imagine myself with the wind blowing my hair and the earth quaking beneath me as I march to my car.  If you can image yourself as a giant with a tremendous shaking booty in slow motion, it somehow flips from Oh Nooooo, to Ohhhhhh Wow!  (Of course this being a fantasy I have a Caribbean tan and buns of steel).  At least it does for me. Very empowering.  Everyone should have a theme song.  I asked my friend Lou if I am out of hand with the height and she said no, she thinks it's sexy and that I can pull it off.  Or maybe she was just concerned I would step on her or sneeze and blow her into the wall.  She is beautiful and petite with a colossal spirit.  As a Costume Designer she has dressed and designed for many many glamorous people and would tell me if I was loosing it, so I choose to believe her.  The least sexy thing about being a colossal girl are the colossal feet that come with it.  Size 11.  It has it's advantages and disadvantages in terms of shoe shopping.  The size is not too in demand so  great deals can be found, but then on occasion it's just me and a "girl" with an adam's apple eying the same pair.  Awkward...

If I were 50' tall you know I would be standing over the highway picking off all the obnoxious and distracted drivers.  I have made it pretty clear how I feel about them.  My favorite line from this movie trailer "Incredibly huge with incredible desires for love and vengeance."  Ha!  That pretty much sums me up.