We got a thing going on. I have gotten so worked up about it that I am exhausted and must now attempt to find inner peace by turning to a higher level of thinking, or risk losing my relative sanity. I have moved past denial and into acceptance that there is clearly a vast conspiracy within the LAPD to harass me in an agressive and persistent manner. I present the facts:
1. Several weeks after taking a lovely spa weekend trip to Arizona, I received a Notice of Delinquent Parking Violation from the City of Los Angeles Parking Violations Bureau. It has to do with license plates they say were not there, that ARE there and have never not been there. I have been fighting it since June 17th, it was "issued" on May 23. The details of the whole drama are too emotionally difficult for me to relive, but my ranting post I'M MAD AS HELL with all the gory details, is available here. STATUS: Still pending while they review the photographic evidence and mildly worded argument I submitted several weeks ago.
2. On July 30th I was driving home at night when I was pulled over by a Sheriff who on upon laying eyes on me said "you're not Jose Garcia." I think it was the blond braids and 36C's that gave it away. Apparently Jose has a warrant out for his arrest. He took my ID back to his car for a minute, asked me a few creepy questions, stated he had "never seen anything like this before, " and apologized for pulling me over. STATUS: No ticket, but that night I slept with the safety disabled on my bedside bear spray can.
3. On August 22nd I was pulled over for crossing a double yellow line during the process of making a left hand turn. Any monkey with a tape measure (me) is capable of marking off on the sidewalk (and photographing) where I would have had to veer into heavy oncoming traffic while avoiding (1) crashing into the Starbucks storefront and patrons (2) sideswiping the SUV waiting at the stop sign on the street I was turning onto (3) the small family I waited for as they pushed a stroller across the street I was turning on to. I know this is Hollywood but if had I actually done what the ticket states, it would have looked like a scene from Starsky and Hutch complete with screeching tires, people diving out of the way and chicken coops flying everywhere. I WILL NOT PAY THIS TICKET EITHER. STATUS: They don't even allow you to follow up on the citation until three weeks after it happened.
4. And today, August 31. Expired parking meter, $50. This one I will pay because it's actually legitimate. I was over by 10 minutes. Which they knew. Because they're watching me. STATUS: Will pay tomorrow while murmuring @!#$%*!!
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I DIDN'T KNOW...
About being BLONDE or being a BLOND
The word was reintroduced into English in the 17th century from French, and was for some time considered French; in French, "blonde" is a feminine noun; it describes a woman. "Blond" is an adjective that refers to the hair itself. A man can have blond hair but he is never a "blonde".
Though many writers of English use the spellings interchangeably,[2] some of them continue to distinguish between the masculine blond and the feminine blonde[3] and, as such, it is one of the few adjectives in English with separate masculine and feminine forms, at least in written language. Each of the two forms, however, is pronounced the same way. American Heritage's Book of English Usage propounds that this particular use of the term is an example of a "sexist stereotype [in] that women are primarily defined by their physical characteristics."[3] (Another hair color word of French origin, brunet(te), also functions in the same way in orthodox English.)
The word was reintroduced into English in the 17th century from French, and was for some time considered French; in French, "blonde" is a feminine noun; it describes a woman. "Blond" is an adjective that refers to the hair itself. A man can have blond hair but he is never a "blonde".
Though many writers of English use the spellings interchangeably,[2] some of them continue to distinguish between the masculine blond and the feminine blonde[3] and, as such, it is one of the few adjectives in English with separate masculine and feminine forms, at least in written language. Each of the two forms, however, is pronounced the same way. American Heritage's Book of English Usage propounds that this particular use of the term is an example of a "sexist stereotype [in] that women are primarily defined by their physical characteristics."[3] (Another hair color word of French origin, brunet(te), also functions in the same way in orthodox English.)
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THINGS THAT STINK ABOUT BEING SINGLE
- Bringing in the groceries, taking out the trash
- No one hears when you have fallen, and can't get up.
1 comment:
Poor Baby. You have my sympathies, but PLEASE do not flip off the judge when you have your day in court.
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