WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL AM I?

The other night I was out with a friend and I decided I needed a trip to Pinkberry.   Pinkberry is a trendy frozen yogurt shop found all over Los Angeles.  There is one in my neighborhood that I frequent from time to time and recently they have added a new attraction to their store.  A 6'5" tattooed giant of a ... Man.  As I am looking to change old patterns in my life that haven't really served me well, I now know that I am only allowed to look, but not touch the kind of guys I am instantly attracted to.  My friend was observing our interaction and when I came back to the table she says "he was totally checking you out" and I said "tall boys always look at tall girls, besides he's probably 25 years old." (They imagine themselves with NBA or NFL sized sons).  Now that I have crossed the border into 40, I find myself in the land of "is that icky?"  I knew it was icky when the man/boy at Blockbuster kept hitting on me.  Where's you're boyfriend?  Do you have a boyfriend?  Do you think men are intimidated by you?  I told him the beard he had grown out all long and bushy made him look like a terrorist.  Next time I saw him, it was gone.  According to Wikipedia there is a formula to help one figure out what your socially acceptable mating and dating range is.

There is a formula!?  By the way, you only have to add 5 years if he's foreign.  That means I can go as young as 27 1/2 unless he's 25 1/2 and opens with bon jour.  68 is the highest I can go, but that seems unlikely as I already have a father who has always been good to me, whom I quite adore, and he is younger than that.

Being a Cougar and dating one are all the rage these days, but I can't quite check that box on the list of characteristics that might describe me.  When I was in my 20's I was not a Cougar Pup, I was not a Puma in my 30's and I am not an aggressive man chaser now.  Maybe this is why I am single, who knows.  I like what I like and it's pretty rare that that shows up.  On said rare occasion my legs and brain go soft, which renders me a useless hunter and fairly easy prey (not that kind of easy).   Perhaps I am more like the Giant Cuttle fish of Australia.  The males show off to separate the men from the boys (convenient), usually the biggest one wins (I like big) because he can defend the best and biggest spot to lay eggs, also impressing the female that he can be tough (love it).  After all the "bravado" and he has won the females attention, he shows his tender side (we all know that takes a real man).  But not for long, he knows that competitors will never stop trying to get to his brood and his babe, so it's back to being on guard (I love me a man who will be manly).

So I guess if I were to meet a 27 1/2 plus year old nerd (that's what I'm going for these days) who behaves like a Giant Cuttle Fish and thinks cankles are hot, I would have to get over myself and give it a try.

P.S.  Thanks for all the comments Momma!